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Anymore stupid questions?

​How Do I Place An Order?​

So you had nothing better to do than buy stuff on this website, eh? Alright. Well, if you can't figure this thing out, how to buy a shirt, I think you might have other problems too. We had enough trouble as it is just figuring out how to make a damn website, and you can't even figure out how to place an order? You hit the button or whateva and then send us money. Something like that. 


Payment & Shipping

Yes, all prices are arbitrary. Nothing on here makes sense. We don't even know who makes this crap. Are all products organic? Yes! And we ship from a converted diaper factory in Brooklyn that is now home to the OJM offices. Shipping varies depending on where you live -- that's all about all we know. The prices of stamps continue to go up, did you know that? If you want a tip, buy 10,000 stamps today and sell them in five years -- you'll make dough. Allow up to 2 weeks for domestic orders and up to 4 weeks for international orders. 


Secure Ordering & Payment Options

All payments go through our very sophisticated payment option. It's how we make money to make more stuff for you to wear around your house or detention center or wherever you live. 


Returns & Refunds

You kidding me? You think we're gonna go all the way BACK to the post office to re send something you didn't mean to buy? Forget it. But seriously, no size returns nor returns on customer order errors...we're a small team.



Enjoy the junk. L'chaim. 

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